The Vernon Dursley Alliance
Dear Friend,
While it has been heartening to watch the Harry Potter Alliance grow over the years to a team of 40 volunteer staff, 60 chapters, a dedicated Board of Directors and Advisers, tremendous success in our activism that has protected thousands of people in Haiti, Darfur, and Burma, has achieved incredible media coverage, a growing list of partner NGOs that we have benefited through our advocacy, and a network that now reaches over one million people – the truth is that it’s time to change everything.
The idea of Harry Potter fans using the message of Harry Potter is not normal. The idea of trying to genuinely believe that we can change unjust norms, the idea that we do not believe that “normal” is the highest aspiration that a person can achieve, is not normal. All my life I haven’t been considered normal and have often worked to change how we view and value “the normal,” and I’m tired of this approach. After months of careful introspection, I have decided that enough was enough. I am NOT resigning from my post as Executive Director. Instead I am making the executive decision to change the name and mission of what was once called the “Harry Potter Alliance” to the “Vernon Dursley Alliance.” SO HERE’S THE DEAL:
Our mission is to strive to be “perfectly normal, thank you very much.” We will not dwell on any thing strange and mysterious because we just won’t “hold with such nonsense.” We will no longer encourage each other to tap into the magic of our imagination because like Vernon Dursley who “didn’t approve of imagination” neither do we. It is imperative that all people arrive at work on time and yell at people over the phone. It is imperative that the neighbors think you are normal. If there is something different about you: HIDE IT. If there is something normal in our society that you think is unfair, by all means take that thought and jam it into a cupboard in your brain where it can never get out. We must not dress differently, we must not think differently, and we must constantly complain about the young people these days.
It is time for this organization to have a new order, and in the words of a great leader who reflected the ideals of Vernon Dursley, “I will have order!” And we will, make no mistake about it, have order.
It is far worse to appear to be out of the norm than to question it and work to change it. It is far better to sit in front of a tv like a soulless zombie than it is to question why the tv is not encouraging you to engage in creative ways to get out there and celebrate the world around you, to get out there and protect the Earth and the people on it.
Perhaps then, fund raising will become easier for we all know that it’s easier to fund raise when what you are doing is considered normal! One principal in a town in the US shut down a Harry Potter chapter and a Gay Straight Alliance and said that if students wish to make a difference they can join the Key Club. Indeed.
The only question that can be asked from here on out is, “how do I not question any thing?”
It is time to encourage the Muggle Mindset. It is time to ally together, ignore the environment, ignore human suffering, ignore inequality, and fight for the days when things were normal.
The Weapon We Have Is Fear of the Abnormal,
Andrew Slack
Executive Director of the Vernon Dursley Alliance
Posted in Harry Potter Alliance
April 1st, 2010 at 11:29 am
Hahaha! This is soooo awesome! Happy April Fools! XD
April 1st, 2010 at 11:43 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mhaey, Heather Murray. Heather Murray said: The Harry Potter Alliance is becoming the Vernon Dursley Alliance. Promoting the Muggle mindset! http://tinyurl.com/yldkvwh [...]
April 1st, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Brrr…. scary. An excellent April Fool’s joke, made all the more convicting because we meet people like this every day.
April 1st, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Ha ha, very funny. After the devastating humiliation of believing Leakey’s April Fools Joke, I shall believe nothing I read today. And tomorrow morning for good measure.
April 1st, 2010 at 12:12 pm
Do you really think we are going to end the HPAlliance? Hahaha, great April Fools joke!
April 1st, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by TheHPAlliance: We are sad to announce that The Harry Potter Alliance is no more. It’s been fun guys, but now its time to move on: http://bit.ly/93bJtT...
April 1st, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Wait, is the HPA and GSA getting shut down by a principal thing true?
April 1st, 2010 at 12:35 pm
paperwings…I almost did the same thing..I was super pumped..; Andrew- good job…it almost sounds like you believe it!
April 1st, 2010 at 12:48 pm
LOL Andrew! This is awesome!
I would almost have believed it if it wasn’t for that
a.) It’s Aptil 1st
b.) Kate mentioned a similar joke last year
and c.) I know you are a much better person than this!
Sorry Andrew, I wasn’t fooled by it.
Nice try though!
April 1st, 2010 at 1:14 pm
That post is great in a really sad, depressing way. I applaud your ability to slip some social commentary into your April Fool’s Day joke.
In other news, Happy Birthday Weasley Twins!
April 1st, 2010 at 1:35 pm
HI Andrew THis has to be an APril Fools, cute!! But I don’t buy it… love ya, Brigid
April 1st, 2010 at 3:29 pm
I agree with Jennifer, the post was great in a really sad way, because there are plenty of people who really do feel that way, and it’s sad and terrible, but the idea that the Harry Potter alliance, an organization more amazing than words, would even consider converting to such terrible ideals, is, indeed, quite humorous. Thanks for the laugh Andrew!
April 1st, 2010 at 3:30 pm
I knew it was a joke from the first few words. Your way too awesome for that!
April 1st, 2010 at 5:05 pm
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April 1st, 2010 at 8:20 pm
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April 2nd, 2010 at 3:17 am
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April 2nd, 2010 at 6:33 am
I completely forgot that it was April Fool’s Day yesterday, so not going to lie when my heart stopped for a beat or two!!! Whew!
April 3rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Is the thing about an HPA and GSA chapter being shut down true? Zivlok and I apparently both want to know.
If it is, I nominate that we take action.
April 4th, 2010 at 8:27 am
I agree with Janet, if that’s true, we should start a small campaign around it, maybe a petition? Or we could all write letters to the school? I don’t want to get too ahead of myself planning, as we still don’t know if it’s true.